Dear Evernote,
Why are your release notes always written on bring-your-child-to-work-day? Well, I hope they are!
Or maybe you're running an apprenticeship and starting them early.
Either way, is there any chance that somebody over the age of 12 could be given the job of writing the release notes? Because 'Take that, "Big Paper”!', and ' Yay, buzzwords!', and ' Seems obvious, right? We thought so too.', to me, albeit over the pond (cultural differences?), makes you seem like a bunch of unprofessional clowns.