That is not what happened. I have not added any additional devices onto my Evernote. I've had it for years and when I updated this last update - which I am sorely regretting now - I'm not able to find ANY of my notes and yes, I've checked the trash and archive. Nothing. I'm upset and panicked.
And yeah, I figured out this actually isn't Evernote I'm trying to reach, because why would they be available to reach when stuff like this happens?