So, finally got it fixed, with a lot of steps. here's what I did:
1) Checked and updates drivers for anything and everything.
2) Cleaned out system cache and cleaned up Windows using Disk Cleanup.
3) Downloaded Revo Uninstaller, installed it.
4) Rebooted machine, clean start, nothing opened.
5) Ran Revo uninstaller to remove evernote. Removed any registry entry with evernote in it, removed all fiels with evernote in it.
6) Finished with Revo uninstaller. Navigated to the following locations and deleted any and files or folders with 'evernote' in them:
C:\Users\**username**\AppData\Local\Programs\Evernote
C:\Users\**username**\AppData\Local\evernote-client-updater
C:\users\**username**\appdata\roaming\Evernote.
7) Went to 😄 drive and searched for evernote, deleted any and all files with evernote in the name.
😎 Ran Disk cleanup again.
9) Rebooted the machine again. Used it as normal for 2 days, using evernote web.
10) Downloaded a fresh copy of evernote (for the ninth time!), closed everything else, and ran the installer.
Evernote installed and ran fine, and has been for a couple days now.
I'm calling the issue resolved.
Thanks to everyone who contributed ideas or steps to try towards a solution!
