Dear Evernote,
Our 15-year anniversary was last month. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. Google Notebook had told it's users they 'weren't that into us.' I went to a party, and Evernote was there. She gave me a sweet smile from across the room, and it was love at first sight.
At first I only used the web app. The more we dated, the more I fell in love. Our relationship was burgeoning, I installed the app on my phone, and we have gone everywhere together. There was no native app for my OS of choice, Linux, but there were workarounds. I accepted that no relationship is perfect, and loved Evernote, blemishes and all. Evernote was integral to planning the wedding.
Over the years I've been thrilled to show off the application love of my life, extolling my love for Evernote to anyone that would listen. Some people rolled there eyes, "Here he goes again." I think they were jealous.
After a time, I learned that the legacy Evernote client could work on Linux. I was overjoyed, and my Evernote love affair reached new heights. Evernote made me feel like I could do anything and go anywhere! Together, we saw London, we saw France... dare I say, there were times I made notes about buying new underpants.
I was happy to share my hard earned money with Evernote yearly. It felt good to support Evernote, and hoped my money would be used to buy something nice.
I will admit, my flaws are many, but Evernote's one flaw of ignoring my OS of choice with a a native app was always in the back of my mind. And then one day last year, a month before a big trip and the most important time for planning, the legacy client stopped working properly on my workstation. I thought, is it me? What did I say? Should I buy Evernote some flowers?
Dejected, I accepted having to sleep on the couch and used the web app on my workstation. But Evernote was angry at me. I highlighted some text and tried to add bullet points, but Evernote deleted all the text and left a single bullet point in its place. I was getting the silent treatment. It hurt. Why, after all these years, would Evernote treat me so?
Then, another day, I checked my wallet, and Evernote had taken more than the previous year. Way more. How was I to have lunch that day? I could no longer go to the nice restaurant, and instead was ordering from the $.99 menu at McDonald's. I should have appreciated the clown at the restaurant in the yellow outfit smiling and trying to cheer me up, but somehow his red nose and shoes were mocking, as if I was looking in mirror. Alas, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. Evernote had sent me to the couch, and charged me 30% more for the experience.
So I gave her another chance, hoping Evernote would see me for who I am, and rekindle our love. When, to my delight, Evernote talked about beta testing a client for Linux. Evernote was telling me there's still a chance! My heart soared! Though I was late in hearing the news, I signed up to be a tester anyway. I missed the cut, but was thrilled that Evernote still had feelings for me. In time, I could stop sleeping on the couch!
While waiting, I continued to sleep on that couch, but it's lumpy. The lack of sleep meant my use of notes declined, and life was more frustrating without the support of my trusted partner. Evernote and I hardly talked now, except when absolutely necessary. But I would check in every now and then, trying to find news of the Beta test. And to my dismay, I found that Evernote for Linux had only been a tease. She would giggle with Windows, she would bat her eyes at Mac, but she would not even make eye contact with Linux. All the more saddening since Mac is derived from Linux, and still had so much in common.
It was hard to ignore, Evernote didn't love me anymore. She was still happy to take my money but did not outright leave me. I felt used.
I already admitted to being flawed, and though my relationship with Evernote wasn't completely over, I began to look at other apps. At first it was just passing glances. But some of them looked really sweet and kind, and while not having all the supermodel curves that Evernote has, they had their own girl nextdoor appeal and down-home kindness that made me believe I wouldn't have to sleep on the couch ever again.
I thought, maybe I would go out on one date. Just one. Could I fall for another app? So I turned on my laptop, always my last choice in Evernote interaction, with a still functioning Evernote legacy client, and discovered it could no longer login/sync. Evernote had barred me from accessing our shared bank account. I couldn't even take out a measly 50 notes that I made.
With my tail between my legs, I went to stay on Bill Gates' couch, dug up a Windows box, and installed the latest Evernote client. I eyed her up and down, seeing what a client 4 full versions more recent looked like, and I wasn't impressed. It felt too much like the lumpy couch. Maybe I was bitter, maybe I was no longer looking through love goggles. Maybe I was seeing Evernote for who she had become.
I took some of my hard earned notes, and went on my date. And you know what, we hit it off! She may not be flashy, and she may not turn everyone's head when she walks by, but she has a good heart and she turns my head. There's more good news, I'm saving money, and no longer have to visit that red-haired clown. I'm taking my new date to the nice restaurant, too.
Evernote, I'm sorry to say, we're breaking up. It's over. It's not me, it's you. I hope one day you'll look back at the good times and find your true self again.
So long,
EverGator
PS - You can keep the lumpy couch.
PPS - No, we cannot be friends.
